The Upstory

We all know what happens when you get between a mama bear and her cub. Thus, this is a cautionary tale that starts with a pawful of red flags and ends with the fur flying. Fangs bared and claws extended.

Our story begins when my daughter, Little Bear, got her first official job. She hired on at a sandwich shop, which shall remain nameless. (It’s a national brand that you all know, but this is not about brand-slamming — it’s about bad bosses.)

Little Bear’s job was to prep sandwich fixings, take customer orders, make sandwiches, re-stock, clean the kitchen, clean the dining area, and provide good customer service. All of this was well within her reach. Even as a teen, Little Bear was a sharp cookie who was usually two steps ahead of the game.

She quickly learned the job. Also, she soon noticed that her co-workers didn’t last long. They never failed to get on the boss’s bad side and suddenly they would be on next week’s schedule with zero hours, and zero the week after that until they finally got the hint and realized they didn’t have a job.

Little Bear promised herself that this wasn’t going to happen to her. She was going to be different. She was going to be the best employee this boss ever had. This woman would never find a reason to get rid of her.  

So, she went above and beyond. She cleaned out the freezers, the most hated and rarely done job at the shop. She made extra efforts to do full set-ups for the next shift, another sore spot. She made sure she stayed punctual. Respectful. Courteous. Reliable.

To her credit, she lasted almost a year. She came home with ugly stories of the ongoing war between Boss Lady and her teenage workforce. I listened and took notes (for the inevitable Day-of-Reckoning Letter).

I warned Little Bear to brace for impact — that Boss Lady followed a pattern and everyone at some point got the axe. Sure enough, the day came that Little Bear’s schedule for the next week showed zero hours.

By then she had seniority, was doing her best to lead a team of newbies, and closing up at night. She thought she had a fairly decent working relationship with Boss Lady so she tried to talk to her face-to-face. Meeting with her wasn’t easy because Boss Lady ran her show mostly from her house where she had cameras showing a live view of activity at each of her four sandwich shops. Plus, Boss Lady didn’t like face-to-face, she liked texting.

Somehow, Little Bear managed to get Boss Lady to meet with her. And it was my job to drive my daughter to the meet-up. At Boss Lady’s house. Late at night after Little Bear had finished her shift and closed the shop. I was to stay outside and wait (and we all know this was for the best).

So, Mama Bear sat outside until the meeting was over and drove home a vanquished young woman while handing over tissues and listening to the sobbed-out, sordid story.

I waited a week until Little Bear’s last paycheck cleared and then I sent my letter.

Dear Boss Lady:

My teenage daughter’s first job has been with (sandwich shop). You have been her first boss. In the 10 months that she worked for you, outlasting most of the teens in your “revolving door” at the (location) store, she has received a tremendous learning experience. Here are some of the things she’s learned:

Training: Don’t bother with training. The teens can either learn from each other or learn from their mistakes. Nobody expects you to be a coach or a mentor. If you do set expectations and post rules, do it after the teen does something you don’t like. Be consistent.

Communication. You have a young workforce. For some of these teens, this is their first job and you are their first boss. Don’t guide or encourage them. If they do show initiative, ignore it. Instead motivate your young workforce by telling them how much better a job your other teens are doing at your other stores. For best results, do this repeatedly.

Problem-solving. Since you don’t coach or mentor, you have to somehow deal with problems. Do this by sending group texts. Accuse everyone. Also, make it personal. Be sure to tell your young workforce how much their actions are hurtful to you. When you suspect your teens are stealing from you, and this is often, try to get one of them to rat out the others. Running your own business is hard. When you encounter difficulties, blame the teens. Tell them all your troubles and let them know how they are at fault for your many problems.

Ethics. It’s the holiday season and you want to make a donation to a charity. Ready cash is available from the teens’ tip jar. It may take a week or two for customers to tip enough to get the $100 you need and customers may think the money is going to the person making their sandwich but that’s not your problem.

Cash-drawer shortage. Not only is the tip jar an effective tool for punishment (if one teen screws up, take the tip jar way from all of them, even teens working other shifts) but you can dip into it whenever you’re “short.” Remember to first accuse your teens of stealing from you. Then tell them you’re going to make up the difference from their tips. Do this as often as necessary.

Firings. This is an unpleasant part of the job for any boss. However, it could be a mentoring opportunity to tell teens why they are being let go, and that information might help them correct their mistakes and do better at their next job. But, nah. It’s easier just to make up schedules that give them no hours. Eventually the teens will figure out that they no longer work at (store).

Win-win. The best part about hiring teens is that they don’t have the skill or experience to know how to deal with these unfortunate work situations. They have no voice. And even if they did speak out, who would believe them?

As I said earlier, my daughter has learned many lessons while working for you – mostly she’s learned what not to do.

When she turned in her key her dad accompanied her to the store. We weren’t about to risk having her in the frightening situation that occurred a few months ago when another young woman, who was turning in her key, was met at the store by a uniformed police officer, who drove up in his squad car, who we understand is your neighbor, who said he was there at your behest to oversee this activity.

Signed, Mama Bear

And then what happened?

I knew Boss Lady had received her letter when I got her voice mail. Two voice mails, actually. She was very concerned that there had been a “misunderstanding” and “we needed to talk.” She wanted me to call her right away.

So as soon as I finished listening to her voice mails, I called her right away. Never mind that it was 7 a.m. the next day. She sounded pretty groggy when she answered the phone so she might have been asleep.

I informed her that I was returning her call, that Little Bear’s dad was on the call, and also that I was recording our conversation. (By the way, I am so risk-averse that before I ever got this ball rolling, I got legal advice. I discussed outcomes, litigation possibilities, next steps, and so forth with an attorney friend of mine.)

Anyway, Boss Lady now realized she had an audience and her words were going on record. That definitely woke her up. She said she was going to find her husband, and get him on the call, too.

Then she made her first mistake by calling my daughter a liar, and a habitual liar at that. Try again, Boss Lady, I have screenshots of your texts that match up with what Little Bear is saying.

Her second mistake was to threaten me.

Now that might work on a teen, but telling me you’re going to “get a third party involved” only made me go full-on Mama Bear.

You do that, I told her. And I’ll get my second letter in the mail.

The first one was about your atrocious management style. The second one will be the one with documentation showing you instructing your teen staff to re-date food supplies ahead of the health inspector’s next visit.

That letter will go to the county health services department. And another copy of the letter will go to the charity you donated to during the holidays so they know that your store donation came from your minimum-wage workers’ tip jar.

And, like Letter No. 1, Letter No. 2 will be copied and sent by certified mail to store headquarters — to the company president and to the chief development officer who oversees the franchises.

Oh my! Boss Lady switched gears and decided there was no reason for us to proceed further in any direction whatsoever. She went on to say she “appreciated my call” and “the chance to clear things up.”  

She was ready to end the call and so was I. We had crossed swords for seven recorded minutes and I felt that she was clear about where things stood and I had what I needed in case attorneys started coming out of the woodwork.

Fast forward to now. Occasionally my errands take me by Little Bear’s old workplace. It’s still there but has changed hands and is under new ownership.