“Is that all you’re going to eat?” “You’re going to eat that?” If I had a dollar for every time someone has asked me this, I would be on the Forbes 400 rich people list. Usually people ask these questions after I’ve ordered something off the menu that they don’t think I should’ve. Like a… Continue reading Caffeine, Sugar, Dairy: My Food Pyramid
Author: theupstory
Once upon a time I wrote for a living. I thought I got paid by the word until I saw my benefits package and realized I'd struck gold. So 37 years later I wrote myself into retirement. Now I'm running wild and free across the literary Serengeti with no one to proof my copy and not an approval source in sight. Of course we all know you're supposed to write about what you know. I know about the human condition, stuff I can't believe just happened, dogs, road trips, the coordinates for all the Cold Stone Creameries, why Walmart looks more Village of the Damned than usual this morning, and so forth and so on. So I drive around, make observations, and write stuff. Yeah.
Our POA meetings: No facts, no filters, lots of shouting
Our latest Property Owners Association meeting ended without bloodshed. But just barely. We were fighting mad about the agenda items: Open range. Shared well water. Rutted roads. City-dwellers with their wimpy HOAs have no idea how big a brawl you can have when you have no filters, no facts, and own lots of land. Mind… Continue reading Our POA meetings: No facts, no filters, lots of shouting
Generation Gap 2.0
I was 15 years old and easily embarrassed by my mother, the unflinching Sarah Gorby. Mom didn’t like hippies, or as she called them “feeble-minded freaks.” Any male with long hair was a hippie. The teen baggers at our grocery store were hippies if their hair was over their collar and thus Mom wouldn’t let… Continue reading Generation Gap 2.0
Don’t Call Me “Hon”
Why do people call me “Hon?” I’m not particularly cuddly. I’m not young. When I was a kid, my mom’s friends all called me “Hon.” That was decades ago and that was the last time I actually liked being called “Hon.” Coming from the lips of an older person, Hon is a term of endearment… Continue reading Don’t Call Me “Hon”
Died? Or Kicked the Bucket?
I decided to write an obituary. Mine, to be specific. I mean, why not? I’m a writer and dying is on my bucket list. As our pastor says, when he’s doing an altar call and trying to get us to pay attention to our eternal future, “the last time I checked the mortality rate is… Continue reading Died? Or Kicked the Bucket?
The Upstory 