I was 15 years old and easily embarrassed by my mother, the unflinching Sarah Gorby. Mom didn’t like hippies, or as she called them “feeble-minded freaks.” Any male with long hair was a hippie. The teen baggers at our grocery store were hippies if their hair was over their collar and thus Mom wouldn’t let… Continue reading Generation Gap 2.0
Author: theupstory
Once upon a time I wrote for a living. I thought I got paid by the word until I saw my benefits package and realized I'd struck gold. So 37 years later I wrote myself into retirement. Now I'm running wild and free across the literary Serengeti with no one to proof my copy and not an approval source in sight. Of course we all know you're supposed to write about what you know. I know about the human condition, stuff I can't believe just happened, dogs, road trips, the coordinates for all the Cold Stone Creameries, why Walmart looks more Village of the Damned than usual this morning, and so forth and so on. So I drive around, make observations, and write stuff. Yeah.
Don’t Call Me “Hon”
Why do people call me “Hon?” I’m not particularly cuddly. I’m not young. When I was a kid, my mom’s friends all called me “Hon.” That was decades ago and that was the last time I actually liked being called “Hon.” Coming from the lips of an older person, Hon is a term of endearment… Continue reading Don’t Call Me “Hon”
Died? Or Kicked the Bucket?
I decided to write an obituary. Mine, to be specific. I mean, why not? I’m a writer and dying is on my bucket list. As our pastor says, when he’s doing an altar call and trying to get us to pay attention to our eternal future, “the last time I checked the mortality rate is… Continue reading Died? Or Kicked the Bucket?
Gnashing Teeth, Gnawing Customers
I think I found the answer to the eternal question, “What could be worse than a trip to the dentist?” Answer: A phone call to the dentist. So, after getting the full-court press from Dr. Tooth, who I’m guessing is a former used car salesman, I opted for a second opinion. I needed dental notes… Continue reading Gnashing Teeth, Gnawing Customers
Gritting, Grinding, and Baring My Teeth
I brush my teeth, floss when the spirit moves me, and see my dentist more or less regularly. Dr. Tooth and I have a deal whereby I get my teeth cleaned and x-rayed and she tells me to come back in six months. Or whenever I feel like it. She doesn’t actually say that but,… Continue reading Gritting, Grinding, and Baring My Teeth
The Upstory 