If you’re like me, and I do say “if,” you start every road trip with a full thermos of coffee. And then, on down the road, you’re in a big panic to find a bathroom. Rest room. Comfort station. Water closet. Washroom. Loo. Lavatory. Privy. Powder room. Latrine. Outhouse. Whatever.
If you’re lucky you’ll find something soon and clean. McDonald’s usually does the trick. And they’re everywhere. You could drive to the ends of the Earth and there would be a McDonald’s.
Well, I exaggerate. Glenn and I went to the Arctic Circle and there was no McDonald’s. We stopped at a wide spot in the road (population 10) named Coldfoot by early prospectors who did indeed get cold feet (especially the red-letter day when the temps dropped to –74 degrees). We immediately headed for the town’s lone restaurant which mercifully included a public bathroom. There was no line.
We found a McDonald’s when we went to Fiji with a sign that said “Bula Vinaka” which doesn’t mean “we have spam sandwiches” although they were on the menu. (It translates to “hello.”) I’m happy to report that the vale lailai was spotless and well-stocked with TP.
I tend to patronize the place that provides bathroom service, so an added advantage to using McDonald’s, for me, is that I leave with one of their vanilla ice cream cones. Win-win.
I do get into trouble at places where their bathroom signage is in wording that I don’t recognize or is a heavily stylized incomprehensible graphic. One of the most extreme examples of this was the adjoining bathroom doors with graphics that had the Women’s pointing to the Men’s and the Men’s pointing to the Women’s. What warped sense of humor thought this up?
Then there are the wits who came up with Gulls and Buoys; Chicks and Chick Magnets. One door sign, complete with directional arrows, actually said “Men to the left because Women are always right.” Whoa! And that’s how the fight started.
Whether it’s clever and witty or stupid and annoying, bathroom signage used to be about the only thing done to decorate or differentiate these important little rooms.
But somewhere along the line, bathroom designs became a thing and places to “go” became places to see as well.
This changes the whole dynamic of “Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.” Or, “I have to see a man about a horse.” Or, “I have to make a pit stop.”
Now it’s a destination with a difference and we’re saying things like “Excuse me while I go check out the bathroom. I hear it’s a chandelier industrial style with the monolith basin and Ezdan Mal Qatar commodes.”
Culinary Dropout has back-to-back gender-specific bathrooms with a peek-a-boo wall that runs the length of the men’s and women’s sink area. The first time I was at the sink and saw movement I thought it was a reflection from the mirror. Then it dawned on me that this wasn’t a mirror and those hands weren’t reflections from the women’s side. No indeed, me and my sistahs were watching dudes on the other side wash their hands.
Liberty Market has individual unisex bathrooms and a communal washroom. A line of eye-level, square windows are positioned over the sinks which makes for a nice view and good, natural lighting. Five mini-rooms have individual themes and piped-in music. If you want to know more, restaurant owner Joe Johnston explains each design which appears in this video link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I2afgk4xyDI
Walter Station, a pub that once was a Phoenix firehouse offers bathroom signage that answers all questions. Men? Women? Aliens? Everyone can use any bathroom. Take your pick. Pick one that’s unoccupied. Walter keeps it simple.
Retail shops public bathroom in Prescott: I generally expect to see other women in the Women’s bathroom but that didn’t happen in the bathroom serving a collection of shops in Prescott.
I was at the sink, washing up, when a full-on cowboy pushed through the door. The door that said “Women.” Boots Jeans Hat & Swagger wasn’t lost. He wasn’t impaired. No, he was there on purpose to answer the call of nature.
Mind you this bathroom did have a urinal. I know not why. There was one stall, one urinal, and one sink. But, urinal or not, I repeat the sign on the door said “Women.” With me standing at the sink, Cowboy could have opted for the stall.
But he didn’t. He squared off at the urinal. I fled. And to this day I wonder what would have happened next if I had stayed.
Surely at one point one of us would have looked the other one in the eye and would have said, “Howdy.”
Bathrooms Abroad. We discovered the culture differences in bathroom behavior when we traveled to Italy. I didn’t know that there actually is a book titled: “Going Abroad: The Bathroom Survival Guide.”
We paid a Euro to use the Italian bathroom which I thought was money well spent. For one thing the Italians provide attendants with their bathrooms. What a job description they must have! Keep the bathroom spotless. Keep the paper products stocked. Keep tourists in line. Keep tourists from cutting the line. Keep the line moving. You don’t need to know a dozen other languages. The tourists are in your country. Speak your native tongue and let them catch up.
The bathroom attendants we encountered were women. Even in the Men’s room. You may care, but they don’t. Just ask the woman who was mopping the floor around Glenn’s feet while he was trying to use the urinal. Yikes. Get thee gone, woman!
Anyway, my point is (yes, I did have a point at one point) that no matter where you are bathrooms should be clean, well-lit, well-stocked, have a hook for your backpack or handbag, and have a working lock.
That’s not too much to ask. I don’t care if there’s a theme.
The Upstory 